Valentine’s Day: love is in the air and flowers are being purchased, but maybe it isn’t exactly rainbows and butterflies between you and your bae. Frustration has been building and tensions are high… there may even be some passive aggressive comments on the loose. It’s like the first dress rehearsal of any performance; it’s messy, frustrating, and it’s just not flowing. So what’s the deal? What happened between the first date and now... and how can we fix it?
Well, fellow dancer, if you need some relationship advice, you came to the right place. I’m going to tell you how your dance knowledge can help you fix three of the most common relationship problems! Yes that’s right, you already possess the knowledge... all you have to do is apply the skills you already have.
The Problem: “I BARELY GET TO SEE YOU."
First off, let’s re-examine what this actually means. In my experience, what your partner is trying to tell you is that they need more attention. Maybe you’ve been knee deep in rehearsals and shows, and they’re just desperate for some quality time (one of the 5 love languages, according to author Gary Chapman).
Every dancer knows how to juggle a lot of different commitments, so put your multitasking tool to work. If you’re a busy bee, already juggling class and rehearsals and performances, you may not really have any extra time to spare. Here’s an idea: try including your significant other into parts of your daily routine. You could go to the gym together, grab groceries together, or even take them along to the DMV. Make the boring tasks exciting again, and don’t forget to ask them lots of questions. Usually they just need to feel heard, and they need you to listen.
The Problem: “I NEED SOME SPACE.”
Whether it’s you who needs the space, or it’s your partner who needs space, remember that these words can be over dramatized. The statement “I need space,” does not mean the relationship is over, it just means that person needs some time for some personal R&R.
Clean up your dating life like you would clean a new choreographic routine! Needing space just means that you and boo each have more time to get your own tasks complete. Take this time to work on yourself and physically clean up your space. Donate unused items and pick up your stuff! Sometimes people need space because they’re overwhelmed; cleaning up your clutter could help both you and your significant other feel better.
The Problem: “YOU’RE FIGHTING ABOUT THE SAME THING… AGAIN.”
We’ve all been there... the same problem arises time and time again. Sometimes it’s a bad habit they have, or sometimes it’s their dirty dishes that have been left in the sink for three days (once again!). So what can we do?
As a dancer, you understand how small things can make a difference if you’re willing to put the time and effort in over time. If you want better extensions, you can understand how to make that happen by figuring out which muscle to strengthen and developing it over time. Tap into that inner knowledge and try and put it towards figuring out why you’re repeatedly disagreeing on the same things. Chances are, it’s actually an easy fix. Maybe they don’t understand how important a clean sink means to you - it can be as simple as that. Find the root of the problem and then move towards positive change.
Happy Valentine’s Day, and I truly wish you success in all of your relationships. Remember that the skills you learned as a dancer can translate to everyday situations!